6:00 pm: Opening ceremony was supposed to start half an hour ago. On the stream the message “Event will start soon, stay tuned !” can be read, on a post-dubstep song which runs in a loop.
8:17 pm: First game of group A between Azubu Blaze and Team Dynamic is about to start. The two hours delay was due to the stage layout: the players’ booths were facing directly to the big screen, which enabled players to see the minimap. Every player on stage is therefore obliged to wear a sombrero for the entire event.
8:22 pm: On the other stage, first game of group B between CLG EU and CLG NA. During the presentation of the teams, the camera is stuck on Snoopeh, staring. It appears that the cameraman is petrified and can’t move. Another cameraman is hired to replace the petrified one. The new one wears a qss to prevent this kind of incident.
9:33 pm: Team FeaR vs IceLanD : After an impressive 1v5 pentakill with Draven, aphromoo says “I’m out”, rises from his chair and leaves the venue. Team FeaR ends up losing the game 4v5.
11:01 pm: CLG.na vs IceLanD : CLG.na gets their first blue side in a competition since may 2011. Both Chauster and Hotshotgg cry out of joy, Doublelift is very satisfied as well. Bigfatlp also has da joyz, and locodoco…well…let’s just say he’s happy too.
2:46 am: CLG.eu vs Team FeaR : After a good teamfight from CLG.eu, Krepo gets a pentasteal. In an attempt to sound like a Korean caster, Phreak screams “PENTAKIRRRRR PENTAKIRRRRR PENTAKIRRRR”, but nobody reacts because, you know, it's 3 am and the game has been going on for two and a half hours.
11:00 am: Due to VISA issues, team Blackbean is not able to compete and has to be replaced. The IPL staff decides to fill the slot with a local team. A card-dealer from a nearby casino is therefore hired, as well as two strippers, the guy in the audience who owns the sign “Team Solosquid”, and a dog named “Doomy.” Team RSBS (Reddit, Strippers and Booze and Squid) is created and is ready to face TPA.
12:08 pm: TSM vs Crs.eu : 2 minutes into the game, Dyrus who did a nice leash for his jungler, comes a little late to his lane and is 2 cs behind. Meanwhile on Reddit, top post of frontpage is “It seems like Dyrus always loses in cs, he’s just trash and NA teams just come for the show”.
12:14 pm: Team RSBS vs TPA : To everyone’s surprise, first blood gets drawn by Team RSBS who runs an amazing Nasus support bot. Phreak says : “Well this play was enabled by Mistake’s mistake” and bursts out laughing.
12:17 pm: TSM vs Crs.eu : Dyrus gets first blood. Top post of Reddit is now “TSM looking so strong right now, Season 3 World Championship will be a race for second place for the other teams.”
2:24 pm: Crs.na vs Moscow 5 : The match is delayed because there is a problem with the chairs in Crs.na's booth. The IPL staff decides to replace them, and provides a bench for Crs.na to sit on and play.
2:29 pm: TSM vs Meat Playground : 15 minutes into the game, Xpecial pauses the game in order to make a vlog about how the game is going so far.
4:46 pm: The second round of the losers bracket just began. The teams who won their match in the first round of the loser bracket will face the teams who lost their first round of the winner bracket. The teams who lost in the first round of the losers bracket will go into the second round of the loser’s losers bracket, where they will face the winner of the first round of the winners bracket and the loser of the second round of the blue bracket, which is the bracket of the losers of 2nd, 3rd and 4th round of the winners bracket as well as the winners of the red bracket. Both winners of the winners bracket and winner’s losers purple bracket (which is also called "pink bracket") will face each other in a whole new bracket, called “The whole new bracket”. At the end of the competition, a lottery will determine which Asian team will win the event.
5:02 pm: Crs.na vs Crs.eu : 15 minutes into the game, Crs.na starts the "baron dance", where they all hang out around baron, waiting for a team fight to occur.
5:04 pm: Crs.na vs Crs.eu : Crs.eu pushes down the nexus, while Crs.na is still dancing at baron.
5:56 pm: While practicing his Lee Sin dance, Froggen performs a Dragon’s rage kick in a power outlet and shuts down the internet for the entire venue, as well as ocelote's computer, who happened to be streaming at that time.
6:05 pm: Reddit post named "Stream is down ?????" breaks the record in the most viewed post of all time on Reddit, surpassing Barack Obama's AMA.
6:25 pm: "Stream is down ????" is now the single most viewed thing in the entire world, surpassing Justin Bieber's video clip and The Bible. Check mate, Christians.
4:05 pm: The stream finally goes back to live with Riot employees doing the traditionnal distribution of gifts to the live audience : "It's K" orange stress ball, Teemo's hat, Soraka’s bananas and Trundle pillar sex toys.
6:16 pm: TSM vs WE : Stream offers a listen-in of TSM voice-chat during team select.
-TheOddOne : They’re gonna pick that yordle scum Rumble top.
-Reginald : Bro dude, listen, bro, dude. Bro ? Dude !
WE first picks Rumble.
-TheOddOne : See I told ya ! THE GOD ONE ! I KNEW IT ! OH MY GOD. NO ONE CAN FOOL THE GENERAL ! Good guy Oddone. Knows what enemy team will pick.
-Regniald : Bro !
-Chaox : We should go Darius. Then I’ll go Varus bot because two teams have won with him and it seems to be the new meta. Do you think you can go Darius against Rumble, Dyrus ?
-Dyrus : …
-Reginald : Bro ?
-Chaox : What the fuck dude ?
-Xpecial : He doesn’t want to talk cause he’s afraid he’ll leak our strategy.
-Reginald : Dude, listen, bro.
7 :38 pm: Between two matches, CLG.eu are among the crowd, signing autographs. While yellowpete is busy taking photos with a cute girl, Deman passes by him and says loudly “Hit on that damn girl for god sake man !”. Startled by this speech, yellowpete gently asks “I’m sorry what ?”, to which Deman answers “I’m just saying you should get her number off the back of that one.”
5:38 pm: TSM vs Azubu Blaze: During picks and bans, Reginald bans Twitch, Sona and Maokai (spelling TSM) and the crowd goes wild. Captain Jack is not impressed and proceeds to ban Alistar, Zilean, Urgot, Blitzcrank, Udyr, Brand, Leona, Ahri, Zyra and Ezreal.
6:39 pm: The cosplay contest is won by TPA Stanley for his cosplay of Tibbers.
7:14 pm: The awkward interview contest is won by Fnatic sOAz for his interpretation of French Renekton.
7:19 pm: The hairstyle contest is won by TPA Toyz, because he’s worth it.
8:21 pm: The MVDP (Most Valuable Dog Player) award goes to Doomy, from Team RSBS.
11:22 pm: End of IPL5. This text is entirely spoiler free, so I won’t tell you who the winner is. But the result is quite surprising and the winner was a big underDOG, if you know what I mean…