Draven, Kog'Maw and Teemo 'Barbecued'

For this second Barbecued interview, three champions came to our studio in order to answer our questions: Draven, Kog'Maw and Teemo. I will ask them about their story, their current form, and their general feeling towards League of Legends.

Part I : Draven

Jimmy: Good Morning Draven, and thanks for accepting...

Draven: Please. It's not Draven. It's Draaaaven.

Jimmy: Oh...sorry. Anyway thanks for accepting to do this Barbecued interview. For my first question, I like to ask people to introduce themselves briefly. Could you do that?

Draven: Everyone knows who Draven is, no need to introduce Draven. And by the way, I think Barbecued is not that good of a name for your interviews. What about Dravened?


Purple caster minion 'Barbecued': "It's an honor for us to die on the Rift" (in-depth interview)

So today we will make our first Barbecued interview with a purple caster minion. Purple caster minions are a very important part of League of Legends, but they aren't very well known. With this interview, we will get to know what it means to be a purple caster minion, find out about their secrets, their likes, their dislikes, and maybe their holiday photos.

Jimmy: Hello and thanks for accepting to do this Barbecued interview, purple caster minion. By the way, do you want me to call you purple caster minion or...?

Purple caster minion: Hey, thanks for inviting me. I don't mind if you call me purple caster minion, but my actual name is Stronger.

Jimmy: Oh so you guys have names, I didn't know that.

Purple caster minion: Well yeah actually, every minion is named after a Britney Spears song. My dad was called Toxic and my mom was Gimme more.

Jimmy: Well that's interesting, Stronger. So my first question will be pretty general, what's a day like in the life of a purple caster minion?

Purple caster minion: It's pretty straight forward. We have our own house with my wavemates. I'm actually in an end-game wave, so I have three melee minions, two other caster minions, and a superminion in my team. We train most of the days. We have a dog to maintain a good mood between us. We go to Summoner's Rift twice a week I would say, and we try and beat the crap out of those blue minions. God I hate those guys.

Jimmy: So there's really hatred between blue and purple minions?

Purple caster minion: You bet your ass their is hatred. These bluebers (that's how we call them) are just narcissistic, overconfident assholes and they smell like stale cheese. God I hate them. DAMN! 

Stronger spits on the floor.


Allstar Wars (episode 2)

With the allstar game coming up, teams are trying to use their practice time to the maximum, while remaining silent about it, to prevent any strategy-leak. Yet Minion's Paradise was still able to get the script of the audio conversations that happened during a scrimmage match between the EU allstar team, and the NA allstar team.

The conversations of the NA-team are displayed in red.
The conversations of the EU-team are displayed in blue.
Conversations in Russian are displayed with this font.

You should probably readt part 1 here before moving on to part 2.


Ten minutes into the game, only one kill on the scoreboard, and a turret in favor of the EU-team, corresponding to a 2k gold lead. Nothing is over yet, and the first dragon fight is about to start.

SaintVicious: We should pressure mid and then go dragon. Pressure mid and go dragon, pressure mid and go dragon.

Doublelift: Dude no need to repeat that kind of stuff 30 times. I'm clearing bot and I'm coming.

scarra: I'm gonna ward that brush near dragon real quick.

scarra misses his ward and places it right before the bush.

scarra: Argh I'm so bad...

scarra misses his second ward and places it right after the bush.

scarra: I hate this game.

Xpecial: That's ok. That's a terrible mistake that might cost us the game and waste our time of practice but that's ok. I'll ward this brush.

Xpecial misses his ward placement too. Twice. There are now 4 wards around the bush, but none inside.

Xpecial: ...

SaintVicious: They're right here they're gonna do dragon. They're gonna do dragon. They're gonna do dragon. Stop farming bot and come, man of steel.

Doublelift: I may be the man of steel, but you sure as hell won't be the man of steal, since you didn't take smite dude.

SaintVicious: Fuck you Doublelift. Dyrus be ready to teleport.

Dyrus: For what?

SaintVicious: ...for dragon.

Dyrus: Oh we're doing dragon. Cool.

Diamondprox: Get ready I'm going to engage.

Edward: Be careful Alex is not there yet.

Diamondprox: I'll engage anyway, then Alex will clean up. Tell them I'll engage, Alex.


Diamondprox: Alex???

Edward: His champion doesn't move, maybe we should pause.

Diamondprox: No, I'm engaging, we win 4v5. Tell the others, you speak some English.

Edward: Our team are have now big.

sOAz: What?

Edward: Our team are have now big. Dragon.

yellowpete: I think he's trying to say Diamond will engage. But Alex seems afk I don't understand...

Diamondprox's Zac manages to land a perfect 4 men ult, followed by a very good Edward's Crescendo, but Dyrus teleports in with Rumble and NA team manages to kill the 4 members of EU team, only losing Xpecial's Janna. But suddenly, Alexich's Zed comes in, and in an amazing fashion, gets a quadra-kill in a 1v4 situation.

Diamondprox: Well you were late we could have won that fight 5-0 Alex.

yellowpete: That was really impressive, good job Alex. Too bad they got drake.

Alex: Goo goo dadaa. Gooooo

Edward: ???

Alex: Goo goo!! Waaaaaaaaaaa! Domoï! Waaaaaaaaaaa

yellowpete: Is that Alexich's baby?

sOAz: Yes it seems.

After a while, the baby stops crying.

Alexich: Hey sorry guys I had to go afk for the last five minutes. Had to let my son play. I hope he didn't screw up.

Edward: You fed him and he fed you, everything is fine.

Alexich: Sorry guys, I was afk I had a problem.

sOAz: Yor son made a quadrakill. That's fanny.

End game

The score is still pretty close, only 2k separating both teams at the 40 minutes mark. NA has an exposed inhibitor in their midlane, while EU have all their inner and outer turrets destroyed. The vision war around Baron has started.

scarra: I'm sorry I don't have any wards but that's just money wasted for me...

SaintVicious: Just protect Xpecial while he clears Baron wards, they're not grouped, their blue just spawned.

Dyrus: I have teleport I'm gonna go bot and clear the wave.

Doublelift: Don't get caught, Alexich one shots you.

SaintVicious: Don't worry he's no Hotshot.

Doublelift: You know one thing Hotshot did really well?

SaintVicious: What?

Doublelift: Taking smite on a jungler.

SaintVicious: My ignite is carrying your ass Doublelift, don't...what the fuck, what is that?

scarra: What's going on?

SaintVicious: Some guy with a camera just broke into my house and he's filming me right now. Get the fuck out of here man!

Xpecial: Oh yeah that's the crew for the next GameCrib's episode. Sorry about that.

Edward: They are clearing ward around Nashor.

yellowpete: We should group up now and pressure baron, our botlane is pushing.

Diamondprox: We should group up now and pressure baron, our botlane is pushing.

yellowpete: What did he say?

Alexich: Waaaaaaaa.

Diamondprox: What does he say?

Alexich: He asked what you said.

yellowpete:  I said we should pressure baron.

Alexich: No. I mean yes, but I was talking to Diamond in wrong language, sorry. He asked what you said.

Diamondprox: I said we should pressure baron.

Alexich: Yeah he said the same thing.
Diamondprox: I thought he asked what I said.

Alexich: No...I mean yes he asked what you said after...you know what? Fuck it, just fucking engage.

sOAz: What you say?

Alexich: FUCK!! OK?

sOAz: Well no need to be not nice...

Diamondprox: I'm engaging.

yellowpete: I'll just clear mid and then base before the fight.

Diamondprox engages the fight with a good ult, but yellowpete was nowhere near. Late to the fight, EU's ad carry can't prevent his team from getting ace'd. NA proceeds to take baron, push two inhibs and finally win the game. Well I'm sorry this is not an exciting way to relate the action but I'm not Deman.

And thus ended the first training session between NA et EU allstar teams.

[All chat] Edward: gg
[All chat] SaintVicious: gg get carried doublelift
[All chat] Doublelift: ...
[All chat] yellowpete: gg wp, nice game
[All chat] sOAz: bravo les gars
[All chat] Diamondprox: gg 1v10
[All chat] Alexich: <rogjsegojregdfjkvnskgr
[All chat] Alexich: oops, sorry was my baby ^^


Allstar Wars (episode 1)

With the allstar game coming up, teams are trying to use their practice time to the maximum, while remaining silent about it, to prevent any strategy-leak. Yet Minion's Paradise was still able to get the script of the audio conversations that happened during a scrimmage match between the EU allstar team, and the NA allstar team.

The conversations of the NA-team are displayed in red.
The conversations of the EU-team are displayed in blue.
Conversations in Russian are displayed with this font.

Team select

NA has first ban and first pick. NA bans were Kha'Zix, Thresh and Twisted Fate. EU banned Jarvan IV, Diana and Vayne.

SaintVicious: They left Rumble open, we should take it for Dyrus.

Doublelift: No fuck Rumble, take Zed. Alexich is godlike Zed.

SaintVicious: What the fuck, Zed can be countered so easy.

scarra: Actually Lissandra is open we should first pick her...

Xpecial: No, just give me Sona, she's too important.

Doublelift: I see that we managed to import the CLG method of argueing ingame...

SaintVicious: We said that I would be the shotcaller and I say we take Rumble for Dyrus.

Doublelift: Dyrus doesn't even talk...


Xpecial: Dyrus?

Dyrus: What?

Xpecial: We want to firstpick Rumble.

Dyrus: Sure, I can play Rumble...

SaintVicious: Great then I take Rumble.

SaintVicious locks in Rumble as first pick.

Dyrus: ...but maybe we should first pick Zed. I think Alexich plays Zed.

scarra: Oh god...

Diamondprox: Wow they left Zac open. Just take it, it's going to be so easy.

yellowpete: Maybe we should pick Caitlyn to prevent Doublelift from having her?

Alexich locks in Zac, and Edward locks in Sona.
After another debate in the NA team, scarra proceeds to pick Lissandra, while Xpecial locks in Janna. It's now EU's turn to pick, with sOAz and yellowpete.

yellowpete: Well I still think we should pick Caitlyn, because they might want to pick her.

sOAz: I sink I will take Renekton, he is good wiz or teamcomp.

Edward: Take Zed for mid, and Kennen for top. They synergize pretty well with Zac.

Diamondprox: Yeah I agree.

Alexich: Yeah ok. sOAz, pick Kennen please. And please take Zed for me, yellowpete.

sOAz: Ok like you want.

yellowpete: Oh...ok...

Doublelift and Dyrus take the last two picks for NA, respectively Kog'Maw and Udyr. 
It's now Diamondprox's turn.

yellowpete: Well, so I guess Caitlyn would be the best pick for me, I feel confident with her and...

Diamondprox instalocks Varus.


scarra: Maybe we should invade their red.

Xpecial: I'm gonna ward our wraith and then we can invade their red through top tribush.

scarra: Wait what the hell, why do you have ignite Saint? We...have no smite...

Doublelift: What the fuck...

SaintVicious: Smite is overrated. Just trust me son, smite is useless. I basically just take it to please my teammates usually.

scarra: Well...still, we can't contest their buff now...

Xpecial: Yeah we can't invade now, Dyrus is still at the fountain...

Dyrus: ...

Xpecial: Dyrus?

Dyrus: What?

Xpecial: The game has begun since one minute.

Dyrus: Oh, sorry, didn't notice. 

Xpecial: Well, that's no big deal that you totally messed up here.

Meanwhile, on EU-team

Diamondprox: They will want to invade my red, but they will decide against it, just protect all entrance of my jungle.

Edward: Yeah ok I'll just ward their wraiths.

Alexich: Good idea.

yellowpete: Mmm...so what did you guys say?

Alexich: We said we just protect jungle.

sOAz: Ok so 'ow do we do? Do we switch ze lanes?

yellowpete: It's probably better to switch since we're purple side.

Diamondprox: What did he say?

Alexich: I'm having trouble understanding sOAz with his accent. But yellowpete said we should switch.

Edward: He's just afraid of Doublelift, ahah.

Diamondprox: lol

Alexich: lol

sOAz: lol

yellowpete: Wait, you understood what they said?

sOAz: No but I just want to be nice to zem...

Alexich: Yes, we switch lanes. sOAz go bot, and yellowpete go top ok?

yellowpete: Alright.

No team ends up invading. After only three minutes, the first blood is drawn. It happens botlane, where sOAz and Diamondprox manage to take down Doublelift, benefiting from the fact that he was left alone by Xpecial, who just recalled.

Doublelift: What the fuck they played that so badly. I can't believe I died there...

Xpecial: Oops sorry. I was doing a vlog so I afk-ed for a while. Sorry. I'm sad. I'm pretty sad. But I'll bounce back.

SaintVicious: Imma try and gank mid, scarra can we kill him?

scarra: Wait let me just grab that cs real quick...and that other cs...and that one...wait there's another wave coming, I need to grab those cs real quick. Just go somewhere else. 

SaintVicious: Imma go top help Dyrus defend the tower then. Wait, you're already out of potions Dyrus? There's nothing in your inventory...

Dyrus: Oh damn. I think I forgot to buy at level 1.

SaintVicious: ...

Doublelift: ...

Xpecial: Brb making a vlog about this.

scarra: I would facepalm so hard if I didn't have to grab that cs real quick.

sOAz: Sank you Diamond. Nice gank. Try and come back later we can kill again.

Diamondprox: Did he just insult me?

Alexich: No he just thanked you and asked you to come again.

yellowpete: You're good at multi-tasking. Translating, cs-ing, that's a lot of things to do, good job Alex.

Alexich: Thank you, it's actually harder because I need to bottle feed my son meanwhile. My wife is busy so I have him with me too.

To be continued...


Pro players Patch Notes (EU version)

  • Command /dance now properly makes Froggen perform the Anivia dance.
  • Froggen no longer causes the game or the internet connection at the venue to crash.

  • Stare's duration reduced to 20/15/10/5 seconds, down from half an hour.
  •  Fixed a bug where Snoopeh would become an astronaut and stop playing League of Legends.

  • Killsteal ratio reduced to 25%, down from 140%.

  • Amount of viewers on stream increased to 140 000, up from 15 000.
  • Irelia's mana regen, HP/5, base HP, base armor, base AD and AS  reduced.  We're also reducing the number of skins of Irelia and we're increasing her IP price to 40 000 IP. We're increasing her cooldown of every skill to 40 minutes, unaffected by cooldown reduction. She also received a new voice, the one of a 11 years-old Justin Bieber fan. YOU HAPPY WICKD?

  • yellowpete is now known as pinkpete, for the casters not to mix his name with yellowstar's.


Pro players Patch Notes (NA version)

  • Amount of eyebrows increased to 2 from 0.
  • Number of "dude, bro" per sentence reduced to 0.5 from 2.5.

  • Vlog duration reduced to 10/9/8/7/6 minutes, down from 2 hours.
  • Fixed a bug where Aspect of the Hamster could not be turned off.

  • Laziness ratio decreased to 50% from 100%.
  • Pillow no longer grants Dyrus a confidence bonus.

  • No longer gets angry in the presence of a yordle.

Chaox has been relaunched with uptades to his model, his kit, his name and his story. His new name is Wildturtle.


LCS casters walk into a bar...

 This article was originally submitted on r/leagueoflegends on April the 1st, 2013. Well actually it was submitted a few weeks before but there were some problems. Anyway, it's about the LCS casters for EU and NA spring season 2013.

All the casters are at a bar, sitting at a table, waiting to take order.

Jason Kaplan: Isn’t that funny that we’re waiting for the waiter? We kinda are the waiters here. Right guys? Pretty funny heh? Guys?

Phreak: …well…it’s pretty funny yeah…I guess.

Rivington: We’re all here at the Kha Zix bar, waiting for our drinks, don’t go anywhere!

qu1ksh0t: Actually, I thhhhhink I’m gonna go to the bathRoom. Can you take order for me? I will have an alcoholic beverage produced by the saccharification of starch and fermentation of the resulting sugar.

qu1ksh0t leaves the table.

Deman: Can’t he just say a beer? Anyway what will you guys have? As it stands, I think I will have a cup of tea and raspberry flavoured-beer off the back of that one. 

Jatt: I’m gonna go with the Tequila Sunryze. I think Jason will have that one too. Kobe will have a Gin Fizz. Rivington will go for an orange flavoured-beer, it’s gonna be k. 

Kobe: Ok how did you know that? I’m so happy you guessed what I wanted. God I’m so happy, it’s so great.