Pro players Patch Notes (NA version)

  • Amount of eyebrows increased to 2 from 0.
  • Number of "dude, bro" per sentence reduced to 0.5 from 2.5.

  • Vlog duration reduced to 10/9/8/7/6 minutes, down from 2 hours.
  • Fixed a bug where Aspect of the Hamster could not be turned off.

  • Laziness ratio decreased to 50% from 100%.
  • Pillow no longer grants Dyrus a confidence bonus.

  • No longer gets angry in the presence of a yordle.

Chaox has been relaunched with uptades to his model, his kit, his name and his story. His new name is Wildturtle.

  • Grin (Passive)
    • Wildturtle smiles permanently, except when he...well no nevermind, he always smiles.
  • The leaaague of Draven (Q)
    • Wildturtle goes full Draven.
  • Wildturtlestance (W)
    • Wildturtle gets a shield that prevents trashtalk for 4/5/6 weeks or until he has his first bad game.
  • Aggression of the turtle (E)
    • On toggle, Wildturtle can only attack ennemy champions, diving them under the nexus, or even behind their computer if he needs to.
    • Wildturtle gets a pentakill for his first match in the LCS.

  • Fixed a bug where the command /taunt would be always turned on, causing Doublelift to call everyone else trash.

  • Amount of criticism received from the community increased to way too much/way too much/way too much, up from way too much/way too much/way too much.
  • Fixed a bug where HotshotnidaleeGG would not properly kick ma bruda in da ass when I'm playing da lee singa.

  • No longer rises from his chair after a pentakill. Actually, no longer gets pentakills. 

  • Amount of questions answered in his AMA reduced to 0 per week, down from 1558 per week.

  • Tooltip now properly displays Elementz as The Bench King.

  • Number of coughs increased from 5/6/7/8/9 to cough cough cough COUGH COUGH. Excuse me.
  • Blood alcohol content decreased from 0.4 to 0.2.
  • Fixed a bug where Saintvicious could not use Smite under certain circonstances (basically when Smite was avalaible).

  • Beard's length increased to Gandalf's beard level. Yeah.
  • Cooldown of nose-scratch increased to 2 minutes, from 45 seconds.
  • Command /laugh now makes Voyboy say "Cya nerds".

  • Voice sound intensity during matches reduced to 70 dB down from 150 dB.

  • Fixed a bug where scarra would not get the reset.

  • Brand of shampoo changed from Garnier Fructis to L'Oréal.
  • Something something Dongerz, #heimermechanics, franquerz and other things.

This was posted on Reddit here. Check these comments, people actually did a parody of the Patch preview, it's hilarious! Credits to the following Redditors: Daleyy, Jetzu, Reichspanda, kaszanix, Keeyez, blackjack118, and Socc13r37.

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